Libri

Mi sa che fuori è primavera

concita

“Vedi, per esempio, la parola dispiacere come cambia quando l’hai maneggiata tanto? A me non dispiace davvero più niente. Quando sento le persone attorno a me che si addolorano per questioni piccole penso state attenti, non giocate col drago. Potrebbe svegliarsi”.

Irina Lucidi, italiana residente in Svizzera, quel drago lo combatte ogni giorno da quattro anni, da quando il suo ex marito ha portato via le loro figlie gemelle e ne ha fatto perdere le tracce. Lui si è ucciso cinque giorni dopo gettandosi sotto un treno. Da allora Irina ha passato quattro anni senza sapere la fine fatta da Alessia e Livia, una fine che certamente si potrà immaginare, ma che certamente nella sua voluta oscurità diventa ancora più agghiacciante. Perché più terribile che perdere un figlio, esiste soltanto non sapere che fine abbia fatto, questo figlio; avere la certezza al 99%, ma attaccarsi a quell’1%.
Concita De Gregorio, giornalista e donna dalla straordinaria sensibilità, ha raccolto la storia di Irina e l’ha messa insieme, creando un libro di gran delicatezza.

Perché come si fa a parlare di fatti come questo, che sono stati per mesi e mesi sotto i riflettori, senza scadere nel patetico o nel macabro o in quell’atmosfera da talk show di terza categoria? Questo è un libro che si compone di frammenti di vita, ricordi, elenchi. Belli quegli elenchi: delle cose che fanno rabbia, delle cose che ci rendono felici e degli appunti su certe parole. L’elenco ordina il tumulto dei pensieri e fissa nella memoria. Dovremmo produrne un po’ tutti, specialmente quello che enumera le piccole grandi cose del quotidiano che ci rendono felici. Ci sono ma ce ne scordiamo. Fissiamole.

E ci sono i fatti rasenti l’indicibile che hanno sconvolto la vita di Irina, ci sono i cocci che ne sono rimasti, c’è il vaso che ne è stato ricomposto con coraggio. Riparato con il liquido d’oro, come in Giappone. Fragilità esibita, con una dignità e una compostezza da incanto e ammirazione. E dopo i “mesi delle droghe” è venuto quello del “todo cuadra”. Dopo la più cupa disperazione, il chiarore di un nuovo possibile inizio.
Perché questo libro non ha proprio niente di funereo ma è, piuttosto, una presa di coscienza di quanto, purtroppo, il male sia parte della vita, anche di quelle vite che apparentemente non hanno niente di tragico da nascondere.

 

“[…] io sono viva, il dolore da solo non uccide e io sono viva. Dunque devo vivere, perché finché ci sono, ci sarà il ricordo di chi non è più con noi. Vivo, il ricordo: vive loro nei pensieri.”

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