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A tutti gli invidiosi

 

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Siamo tutti un po’ invidiosi. Potenzialmente. Come non esserlo, in questi tempi in cui le immagini di corpi perfetti, vite perfette, vacanze perfette, famiglie perfette dilagano in rete, sui social, in televisione e nelle pubblicità? Come non esserlo, quando vedi che a molti va bene, forse troppo, mentre ad altri va male, forse anche di più?

L’invidia è un sentimento infido e negativo ma anche ambivalente. La definizione letterale, quella da dizionario etimologico, per capirci, è “guardare con sguardo bieco”. Lo abbiamo vissuto in molti sulla nostra pelle, quello sguardo bieco. Quello di un parente, di un collega, di uno (pseudo) amico, cui abbiamo annunciato una promozione, una vincita, un viaggio imminente, il nostro matrimonio. Ci saremmo aspettati gioia, partecipazione, invece niente. Solo quello sguardo, dietro al quale si cela la netta sensazione del fallimento dell’invidioso.

Perché l’invidia spesso funziona con questo meccanismo: io non ho, tu non hai: io sono felice.

Io non ho, tu fai qualcosa per averlo e lo ottieni, io non faccio niente: ti odio.

Ecco cos’è l’invidia. Lo specchio del nostro fallimento.

Siccome siamo troppo pigri, per provare a cambiare qualcosa della nostra vita, incolpiamo gli altri dei nostri insuccessi. Della nostra incapacità di cambiare. E sì, delle nostre paure e del nostro senso di inadeguatezza. Perché se io provo a cambiare, e poi scopro che non ci riesco? Se ci provo, ma tanto so già che non potrò mai essere buona e paziente come la mia amica che tutti ammirano, bella come mia cugina, di successo come il mio collega perchè tanto lui è un uomo…Allora poi cosa faccio? Meglio continuare a starmene qui, a crogiolarmi nei miei sentimenti livorosi e pieni di rancore. Meglio non provarci neppure.

Il fatto è che a stare seduti fermi, con le mani in mano, non succede niente. E questo lo sappiamo, no? A volte basta poco, anche un piccolissimo mutamento nelle proprie abitudini per dare luogo ad un effetto a catena di cambiamenti inaspettati. A volte basta cambiare anche soltanto il proprio modo di vedere le cose. Spesso siamo portati a pensare che la felicità possa arrivarci soltanto da eventi straordinari, ma il fatto è che chi non modifica il proprio atteggiamento nell’ordinario, difficilmente vivrà dei cambiamenti profondi e duraturi.

Anche se riuscissimo a fare quel viaggio meraviglioso, anche se vincessimo soldi al lotto, anche se fossimo promossi nel lavoro, continueremo a pensare che comunque al nostro amico è andata meglio che a noi.

Comprendere una cosa è di fondamentale importanza:

le fortune, così come le sfortune, capitano.

Una volta metabolizzato questo, una volta che si smette di interrogarci sul motivo per cui a noi è toccato o non è toccato in sorte qualcosa e iniziamo ad adoperarci per modificare noi stessi (l’unica cosa che è in nostro potere di fare), si vive indiscutibilmente meglio.

Un’ultima cosa. Qualcuno parla di invidia buona.

Bhe, l’invidia buona non esiste.

Coloro che vi guarderanno con sguardo bieco non porteranno mai niente di buono o di positivo, nella vostra vita. L’invidia buona è l’ammirazione, quel sentimento che ci spinge a cercare di emulare le persone di fronte alle quali proviamo un senso di meraviglia, di stupore. Ma l’ammirazione, appunto, è ammirazione. Tutta un’altra storia.

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